09.24.2024 - The State of Kevin

And so we begin again. A website redesign. A new focus. Another attempt to organize an endless list of endeavors. Let's think aloud for a moment.

Five years ago, I sold a business, made a little money, and have since spent lifetimes in my head searching for the next project, the true purpose, the most meaningful way to spend the next phase of life.

I haven't found it.

I've dabbled in the insurance world, cofounding a business meant to help those who've lost a job and can't afford health care. The business is beginning to soar, but I left it after two years, unhappy with the execution and direction, having lost my passion for it. That being said, I'm thrilled for my former business partners and the team they've built, and I wish them enormous and continued success.

I'm dabbling in the animation world. I enjoy it, but I have yet to discover how best to apply my skills. For the first time in life, I feel I'm too old to master something new, and I'm not the right person to perform the other needed tasks. The result is frustration and confusion, but I'm trying to learn and make it work.

I've produced podcasts, invested in web3.0 companies, helped friends improve the designs of their own apps.

I continue to believe digital currencies, ownership, and governance will be fundamental to the future world, even if hype (and venture capital) have moved to more buzzy ideas like AI. They'll return, because the rise of AI has only exacerbated the need for digital ownership and creator protections. This is something I'm passionate about, but I haven't yet found the right outlet to express those passions.

I've invested in community solar projects, shifted to EVs, and looked for ways to use more sustainable products like toothpaste and bamboo toilet paper. I'm intrigued by renewable home energy solutions. Sadly, my knowledge of physics is too dated and rudimentary to let me pursue this passion in anything other than a consumer and investor role.

I continue to read and learn about America's systemic issues, the need for representation, the realities of privilege. I'm disgusted by the blatant racism of the right wing political party, their lack of awareness, their self-centered nature, their ignorance, and the violence they advocate. Unfortunately, I feel that, even if I knew how, I am powerless to affect change.

I'm fascinated by metaverses, VR/AR, and autonomous vehicles.

I'm writing this on one of the many e-ink tablets I'm experimenting with, because years of taking notes by typing have not made me a better thinker. I will share more about this soon.

My penmanship sucks.

I'm on another diet.

I'm enrolled in flight school. Flying a Cessna 172 out of Chicago Executive Airport (KPWK). I will save my thoughts on this for another post.

I continue to make videos for my YouTube channel, purely for fun. One of my flying videos has racked up over nine MILLION views, which is insane. If I was determined to turn my channel into an aviation channel, I might be able to benefit, but as a student pilot I don't think I'm qualified to say anything meaningful about aviation, and so the views are more a curiosity than anything.

I have basic outlines (and even drafts) of several novels. The only way they'll ever be finished is if I devote myself to full-time writing. With so much money flowing outwards (to out-of-state colleges), my brain argues this isn't a financially worthwhile pursuit. Of course, now I sound like my own parents when I told them I wanted to major in creative writing. The circles of life...

I'm dealing with a medical issue I don't want to talk about yet. It's my first brush with mortality. I have feelings about it. Some days those feelings weigh heavier than others, but I believe they're all normal and expected.

My partner and I plan to move to Seattle early next year. That's exciting.

I still want to explore. I want to climb mountains. I want to create something meaningful. I'm inching closer to the later half of life. Perhaps I'm well into it. I still dream of changing the world. Age and experience have demonstrated the near impossibility of such a feat. They've also proven I'm ill suited to accomplish it. But they haven't dulled the desire.

Intellectually, I still feel 25. Emotionally, I feel about 40. Physically... Let's continue.

The state of Kevin is uncertain, confused, determined. There is so much still to do.

I remain ever hopeful.